I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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