What did we do last night that was yellow?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize
