New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
handjob tips. give me some.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize