I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
