We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My vagina just clenched in fear
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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