if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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