My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Screwed.edu
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
