i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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