I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
