Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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