I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
