i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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