margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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