I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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