these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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