I want to have your abortion
I just gift wrapped bread.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize