I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
