Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
