very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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