I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
