you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
