Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize