Actions speak louder than pants.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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