I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
