Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
