Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
