I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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