If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
