its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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