I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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