Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
