this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
