And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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