I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i dont even know how to be here
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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