THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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