Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I am naked and annoyed.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
