Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
