I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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