We won't sleep together?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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