I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
