What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize