I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
