doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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