i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
