last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize