I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
ugly people sure do ruin things
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize