And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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