So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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