Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
