He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
