Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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