party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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