i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
