i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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