it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
FUCK WHALES
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