I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
