I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
