in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
