Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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