I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
drinking out of a sandbucket again
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Randomize
