mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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