Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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