Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize