By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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