You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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