Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
