She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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