You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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