this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
