is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
