Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
