capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
