i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
