Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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